“The quality of your now-ness.” Well, Tara Brach, I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that the quality of my now-ness is for total shit.
I don’t really get the whole “live in the moment” thing. I mean — I get it. In theory any way. But isn’t it quite impossible? Or I venture to say it’s against the human nature that has been nurtured to steer clear from the practice of mindfulness, presence, etc. and instead focusing on the past and how it’s shaped us and more importantly how our experiences will dictate and influence our future. Where’s the “now-ness” in all of that?
Oh right, I’m not supposed to be getting into the “trance of thinking.” Tara urges me to gently walk myself back through the gateway of presence; nudge myself back into letting go. My “letting go” is more like a violent sling-shot catapulting over a fortress wall. There is nothing gentle about this.
Those gorgeous Tibetan bowls ring clearly into my pulsating eardrums.
I blink my eyes open and for the most fleeting moment–I feel gentle, light, airy.
Alright, Tara you cheeky girl, I’ll be back tomorrow.