The Fair-Weather Meditator

I must admit, as much as I like to pretend that meditation and practicing mindfulness on a day-to-day basis is now part of my DNA, I’m more like the fair-weather meditator. I pick and choose what days feel like the right ones for me to practice my practice and the rest fall by the wayside. PSA–that’s not how true mindfulness works. The whole point of this journey is a commitment to bettering my life and how I’m living it.

Last night, after a particularly calming meditative session, I was listening to Florence + The Machine’s new song St. Jude. A beautiful, haunting, caustic, and cathartic piece of art wrapped up neatly in 3 minutes and 45 seconds. She ventures at one point, “maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos.”

Perhaps, that is my struggle. Perhaps, I too, am more comfortable in chaos. The chaos of the every day. The “I’m too busy.” The “I’m not feeling good.” The “I’m so tired.” The “I had such a long day.” The “I just don’t feel good.” The “this isn’t where I thought I would be, or what would be happening in my life.” Swirling, maddening, self-inflicted chaos.

In the meditation from last night, Tara urged her listeners to pay attention to the quality of gentle-ness within ourselves. And she said two powerful phrases that may help to free from the self-inflicted chaos that happens day in and day out:

“May I feel happy. May I be awake and free.”

I believe in this practice wholeheartedly, so here begins the 5 day challenge. I commit to meditating every single day for the next 5 days (2 down!). It takes 3 weeks to create a habit and 6 weeks to break one. So here’s hoping this will be a footprint in the right direction.

And may we all be happy, awake, and free.

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